


Alone in the Dark

by ASchwartz33



Category: Naruto
Genre: Depression, Eventual Smut, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 20:18:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19731043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ASchwartz33/pseuds/ASchwartz33
Summary: ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICEKakashi is alone in his spiraling depression until Naruto sends him on a mission with sakura to a land plagued with below-freezing temperatures





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is not a completed work, I'm still working on it. I just dont know how to change it as this is my first submitted work here. Obviously I dont own anything from naruto

CHAPTER ONE

___________________________________________________

Kakashi awoke to his empty apartment, just like he always did. His breathing ragged from yet another nightmare, he clutched his thin blanket to his chest. Lately, this was the calmest way he has woken up, with other nights waking up screaming. 

Kakashi swallowed in his sadness. He thought about team 7, how he'd failed. Thought about all his friends and family that he couldn't manage to protect. The famous copy ninja, Hatake Kakashi of the hidden leaf, reduced himself to nothing in his own mind, spiraling down into his own dark depression with no hope of being lifted back out.

Hours later he drags himself out of bed to make his morning coffee. After all, he still is a shinobi and has a job to do. Lately, that job has been running errands for the current hokage, Naruto. He should feel pride at the sight of his former student in the Hokage office chair, but all he feels is sadness at others who couldn't be. Sighing, he makes his way out the front door to go to work.

___________________________________________________

In the office, Naruto unlocks his desk and brings out all the files he had been working on the day before. Light shines in through the window as the sun rises, bringing a smile to his face. He stands and watches out the window as sunlight spreads over the village and citizens start running about. Even through the morning crowd of shopkeepers and workers piling into the streets, Kakashi sticks out like a sore thumb. Naruto constantly feels the sadness pouring out of him. The legendary ninja does a great job pretending everything rolls right off his back, but in recent years Naruto has grown quite capable of sensing things like that. 

He has never spoken anything of it to his former sensei, but he can see as he moves his way through the streets of Konoha to the Hokage tower, Kakashi has a tremendous weight on his shoulders. Lately, it has seemed even worse than ever. What could he do? No way Kakashi would ever except help. Not in this lifetime. Not without him having some sort of breakthrough on his own. Naruto leaned against the glass, deep in thought.

___________________________________________________

Kakashi wandered on through the streets. Shopkeepers would wave and say hello, and he would wave and give a nice crinkled-eye smile, but it was all hollow. He had been just going through the motions for years and years. He looked up to Hokage tower and saw Naruto in the window, watching over the village with a smile on his face. Kakashi just kept his hands in his pockets and kept walking.  
I don't know how he managed with a teacher like me. If it wasn't for Jiraiya….  
Kakashi's mind swirled the gutter once again.

___________________________________________________

Naruto thoughtfully touched the glass, wondering how to break Kakashi out of his constant state of depression. He knew Kakashi was lonely. Maybe the key was keeping him around others? It couldn't hurt to try. Only time would tell.  
Naruto turned as the knob on his door made a soft spinning noise and Kakashi sat down in his usual chair to the side of the large oak desk. He smiled and the white haired ninja, and got an empty smile in return.  
Naruto sat down in his chair and begin discussing the village when a cloud of smoke appeared in his office. Yamato stood in the middle of the floor, staring into Naruto's eyes.  
"Hokage, an urgent matter has come to our attention." Yamato stated quickly.  
"What is it?" Naruto replied.  
"One of our diplomats have gone missing in the land of ice. There has been no sign of betrayal as we've seen yet, but he has missed his last checkpoint."

Naruto thought for a moment. He glanced over at Kakashi, still thinking of his poor depressed sensei, all alone in his big empty apartment. He looked back to Yamato.  
"Summon Sakura immediately."  
"Yes Hokage." Yamato said before disappearing into a puff of smoke.  
"Sakura?" Kakashi inquired.  
"Yes, Sakura."  
Naruto had noticed a small tinge of something in Kakashi's eyes every time they talked of Sakura. He has always wondered if there was something more to it. 

Sakura was knocking on his door less than ten minutes later, and Naruto quickly called her in.  
"Hokage" the pink haired kunoichi said with a short bow.  
"I've told you that you never have to call me that."  
"Yes, Naruto."  
"It seems there has been an issue in the land of ice. One of our diplomats has gone missing and missed his checkpoints. I'm sending you in the team to look for him. Having a medic there could be helpful."  
"Who else will be going?"  
Naruto smiled mischievously and simply stated "Kakashi-sensei will accompany you on this mission."

___________________________________________________

Kakashi watched as Sakura walked in through the door. Her pink hair was held in place by her leaf shinobi headband as per usual, and she was wearing her red vest and black leggings. He hadn't really kept too much of a personal relationship with her after team 7 officially ended, but he did see her from time to time in the Hokage office. She had always been his favorite student, always managed to life his mood just slightly. Whatever the reason, it made him long for the days of going on missions with his 3 troublemakers.  
"Kakashi-sensei will accompany you on this mission."  
Kakashi left his own thoughts quickly, and his head snapped around to look at the blonde-haired prodigy that he had once called his student.  
"What?" He replied.  
"Kakashi, you and Sakura will go to The Land of Ice and search for our missing diplomat. This is a black-ops mission, so you need to stay off the radar. No hotels, and don't spend too much time in the towns."  
"When do we leave?" Sakura asked.  
"Immediately."  
"Yes sir!" Kakashi and Sakura replied, both leaving to gather supplies.

___________________________________________________

Naruto watched with a smile as his former teammate ran out the door, and his former sensei jumped out the window.  
"Maybe spending nights in a tent in below freezing temperatures will help break you out of this funk….. sensei."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really dont know anything about writing, so if you have any thoughts you'd like to share please feel free I would love to improve.

When Kakashi and Sakura left the gates of Konoha, it was sunny and beautiful. Kakashi looked over at Sakura and wondered if this trip was gonna be filled with awkward silences or long talks. The sun made Sakura's hair shine hot pink, and he couldn't help but notice the glow she had around her. Sakura turned and smiled at him, and he smiled back in return.  
Sakura was the one who finally started the conversation. 

"So how is working with Naruto in the Hokage office? Does he act all official? Or is he still a pain in the neck?" 

"He can still be a pain. But he has certainly changed since his Genin days." Kakashi spoke in return, an almost genuine smile crawling across his face. He missed this, he realized. 

Many hours into their trip, Kakashi started to notice the drop in temperature. He had almost forgotten the main theme of The Land of Ice. They were in for some long, cold nights. He knew this. Even if you wear 10 layers of clothing, you can still freeze. Kakashi shuddered as he thought back to his LAST time in The Land of Ice. Back then, he was with Gai. 

"This cold is too much! Even in our awesome youth!" He had cried as he climbed into Kakashi's sleeping bag. 

Kakashi didn't speak to him for two weeks after they returned to Konoha. It was just far too awkward. Though the green-clad taijutsu user still chased him all around town asking for a foot race. 

Suddenly, Kakashi thought about this new mission. With his new partner. What happens when it gets too cold, and it's Sakura climbing into his sleeping bag? He looked over at her. He had never really thought about that. Sakura with her nice long legs and beautiful cherry blossom smell. With his strong sense of smell, he could smell it even as they were traveling through the trees. With a sharp intake of breath, he let it intoxicate him as he shut his eyes. 

At that moment Kakashi felt a rush of pain as he smashed into a tree branch and fell to the ground. He opened his eyes just soon enough to see the ground before he landed. Grunting, he slowly forced himself to roll over.

"Kakashi-sensei!" He heard Sakura shriek. He opened his eyes again and was blinded by the sunlight. After a moment, Sakura's worried face came into view. Kakashi struggled to breathe as she placed her hands on his chest with green chakra pouring out. 

Kakashi had always enjoyed being healed. It had a very strange sensation. It served as a reminder that he could still feel nice things too. With her hands on him, he started to feel warm again.

____________________________________

Sakura got straight to work healing her former sensei. It was slightly concerning that he was so distracted he was laid out by a tree limb, but she tried not to overthink it. She placed her hands over his chest and used her chakra to make sure he didn't do anything more than knock the wind out of himself. Kakashi tended under her touch, and she could see him staring at her out of the corner of her eye. He seemed okay though. She removed her hands and looked at his face. His exposed eye stared back at her for a moment before looking off to the side. 

"Mind telling me what that was all about?" She asked.  
He took a second to think about it and then he grinned through his mask.

"I was thinking that I left my Icha Icha book at home."  
She rolled her eyes and pushed off of him to get off of the ground. 

"Maybe you should pay more attention to our mission instead of your dirty smut."  
She turned her back to him and took off through the trees once more.

____________________________________

Kakashi pulled himself off the ground and watched her as she ran off into the forest. He was disappointed in himself more than anything.  
"How can I complete a mission when I can't even keep my mind on track?" 

After many more hours of travel and some snowing, they finally reached a location to camp. "We are about halfway to The Land of Ice. We should be there in the afternoon tomorrow. For now, we should get some rest."

Kakashi looked around with his sharingan to check for anyone else around. "No one around here." He said.  
"Okay I will work on the tent." Sakura replied.

Once the tent was set up and they were inside, it didn't take long for Sakura to fall asleep. Luckily, they were far enough into the country for completely frozen temperatures. For that, Kakashi was grateful. He stared at the roof of the tent for a few hours before finally drifting off to sleep.

____________________________________

Sakura woke suddenly in the night. She had heard something, but wasn't sure where it had come from. She sat in silence and listened for a moment. Whimpering. It was a pathetic little noise that she realized was coming from the sleeping bag next to her. 

She sat up and looked over at Kakashi. There was a light layer of sweat on him and he looked to be shaking. His head visibly twitched and he started whimpering again. 

A nightmare. Strange coming from someone so strong, she thought. She reached over and gave him a slight shake from his shoulder. He jumped up to a sitting position, sharingan ready, and out of breath. He frantically looked around and locked eyes with Sakura.  
"Are you okay?" She asked.  
"Fine." He replied coldly, and laid back down. 

Once he was asleep again, Sakura allowed herself to lay back down. What could possibly bother Kakashi to the point of having nightmares? She didn't have to think about his life too long before coming to an answer. All the people he has lost in his life, it would be a shock if he DIDN'T have some sort of issue.  
Sakura closed her eyes and went back to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

The next day of travelling, they had finally entered The Land of Ice. Sakura and kakashi sprinted along the outside of the last known location of the diplomat. The mid-size city shouldn't take more than 2 days to search, barring any complications. Kakashi hoped the man had just forgotten where his checkpoint was, however unlikely that was.

After an entire day of roaming around the city in shadows, the temperature steadily dropped. The ninja decided it was time to call it off and head to camp. 

That night, kakashi lay shivering in his sleeping bag. The temperatures were well below freezing, and his fit form did not offer him much for cold protection. He stared up at the roof of the tent chattering his teeth.

"Kakashi?"  
He jumped at the sudden noise.  
"Mmm?"  
"I'm going to get into your sleeping bag with you." The pink haired girl replied.  
"I don't really think that is necessary." He replied, still staring at the ceiling.  
"You know I'm a medic, right. I can see your lips are blue from here. Stop arguing and scoot over."  
Kakashi rolled onto his side facing the wall, and braced himself for unwanted contact. He didn't deserve to be warm. Why would she even care? All he ever did was fail her. He failed his team. This one, the same as he had his first one. His friends had all counted on him, depended on him, and all he could do was let them down.  
He was startled from his thoughts when he felt a tug on his sleeping bag. The girl climbed next to him and Kakashi felt a wave of warmth spreading over him. He stiffened up as skin that felt like fire grazed down his bare back.

____________________________________

Sakura lifted the sleeping bag and was surprised to see Kakashi without a shirt on. 'No wonder he is so cold' she thought and lowered herself in. She could feel all the muscles on his back tense and wondered if this actually was a good idea. She nudged in close and felt just how cold he really was. 'He probably would rather freeze to death than be stuck in a sleeping bag with his former student'. Her thoughts rambled, but she refused to let him freeze just based on principle. 

Her body fit in with his pretty well, even with him facing away from her. Sakura couldn't help but notice how the muscles along his back and shoulders were practically carved from marble. She placed a hand on his shoulder to give him a reassuring squeeze, and felt him tense up even more. She pulled away, and decided it was best to roll over to her own side. However uncomfortable he may be with it, she made sure her back was still pressed up against his.

____________________________________

Her warmth was amazing. Kakashi felt every breath Sakura was taking. Could almost feel her eyes roaming over his back, and wondered what horrible scars she must be staring at. Suddenly very aware he wasn't wearing a shirt, he was finding it difficult to relax his muscles.

He felt her back leaning up against his and wondered what she was wearing for him to feel this much skin. She felt soft. Softer than he remembered… not that he could really remember the last time he had skin to skin contact. If he wasn't going to count Gai, which he didn't want to, it had to have been close to a decade. He didn't feel he deserved contact with other people. 

Sakura squirmed a little as she got comfortable enough to sleep, and her skin rubbing on Kakashi's back was enough to rip him out of his thoughts and spread a warmth into his stomach. He leaned away from her as best he could and forced himself to sleep 

____________________________________

Sakura woke up to find Kakashi shivering and squirming in the sleeping bag. Upon closer inspection, she could see he was also sweating. She watched for a moment before he started shouting out into the night. Sakura couldn't quite make out what he was saying, but the panicked ranting had her nervous. 

Another nightmare. She decided the safest route would be to wake him before he thrashed to far and knocked her on the head. Grabbing his shoulder again, she shook him awake. 

____________________________________

Kakashi shot straight up in his sleeping bag, suddenly aware of a presence surrounding him. Reaching for his kunai he lunged out of his cocoon and jumped to his feet. Panting, he searched the room and locked eyes with Sakura, the fear evident on her face. He stood there out of breath for another minute before he finally dropped his arm and threw the weapon on the floor. The cold moved freely into the tent, causing Kakashi to shiver once again as the sweat froze to his body. Flashes of his dream flooded his mind and he couldn't quite focus on the present situation as he started to hyperventilate again 

____________________________________

Sakura pulled herself up from the sleeping bag, and Kakashi was finally able to see that she was wearing a red spaghetti strap tank top and white pajama pants. Slowly, as if unsure of herself, she walked over to the shaking man and wrapped her arms around him. He tensed up immediately, and Sakura was questioning if he was going to run from her. After a few moments, his steel walls came tumbling down and he crumbled into her embrace. He sank down into her arms as if he had given up on being strong. Sakura just couldn't believe this was the same man who had trained her, who had saved her on countless occasions, and who she owed her very life to. She closed her arms around him and held him.

____________________________________

This was it. Kakashi's grief had finally overwhelmed him, and he didn't know what to do. Here he was, shaking like a child in the arms of his former student. Again, he felt like a failure. Is he really a man if he can't keep his emotions in check around someone who he is supposed to be a mentor for? 

Sakura tightened her grip around him, and he felt a warmth spread throughout his body. Her hand ran through his hair and ran comforting circles around the back of his head. Slowly, he stopped shivering and let her continue to hold him. She felt like he was hiding in the sun itself, and he felt his troubles falling away one by one. 

Eventually he straightened up, still in her arms. He pulled her into a proper hug and kept her there for another minute. Kakashi leaned in towards Sakura's ear and whispered to her.  
"Thank you Sakura."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come soon!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kakashi and Sakura finally have a breakthrough of sorts

Kakashi was suddenly very aware of the contact between Sakura and himself. They had been standing there silent for atleast 5 minutes. He could feel her smooth skin under his arms and thought about just holding her all night. He leaned in once more and rested his face in Sakura's hair. She didn't seem to mind, so he lingered. 

The smell of her hair was once again intoxicating. Even after days of traveling and wandering she still smelled amazing. He breathed in deeply, trying to remember the scent forever. Sakura's body suddenly tensed.

Kakashi's eyes widened as he quickly realized what he had done. He had overstepped his boundaries, and he knew it. Sakura was not only a number of years younger than him, but his student. He felt disgusting, nothing more than a worm. He pushed her away awkwardly and started pacing around the tent, lost in his own head. 

First, he had failed his father, and never saw his depression. Not only had the village abandoned him, but he was never quite the same after Kakashi's mother had passed away. Like the Inuzukas, the Hatake clan was a pack style family. His father, Sakumo, had tried to explain it to him once. When a member of the clan falls in love, they adopt a sort of pack mentality. Kakashi was told he would know once he had fallen in love. Sakumo couldn't handle being alone anymore, and once the village left him behind he just couldn't take it.

Then, he failed Obito, Rin, and Minato. He wasn't able to save any of them. A terribly hopeless ninja who was leagues from being the "genius" some claimed he was. All of them, gone. All thanks to Kakashi being worthless. 

____________________________________

He was so far lost in his own head, he couldn't hear Sakura calling to him. He was stalking around the apartment muttering like a mad man, eye dark and angry. Sakura could hear bits and pieces of what he was saying. "Worthless"  
"Coward"  
"Don't deserve anything"

Being a medic, Sakura had never quite witnessed anything like it. She never had seen someone so miserably depressed act this way. It was a wonder he was still alive with the things his head was doing to him. He heart ached knowing her sensei had been in such pain all this time, and she couldn't help the few tears that went sliding down her face. 

She stepped in front of his and latched onto his arms. Kakashi stopped in his tracks, and his glazed over eye slowly focused in on her.

____________________________________

"Kakashi…"

He heard Sakura say his name, could feel her small hands on him, and yet it still was a struggle to focus and pull himself out of his own mind. 

As he focused on her face, Kakashi saw the tear streaks down her pink cheeks. 

Shit. What did I do now? How could I let this happen?

Kakashi had never had an incident like this on a mission before. But then again… how long has it been since he was on a real mission? He stared into her beautiful green eyes, worry plastered all over them. She was lightly shaking him, and he realized her mouth was moving. 

He finally focused fully into reality.  
"Kakashi! Answer me!" Sakura cried out.  
He couldn't hardly speak, but he managed to mumble out a simple "Sorry" .  
"You have nothing to be sorry for. Are you okay? Sit down for a minute." She spoke, much softer than before. 

After a small hesitation, Kakashi moved and sat down on the sleeping bags. Sakura followed, and sat facing him. She reached out and took his hands in hers, and Kakashi just stared down at the contact. She gave him a reassuring squeeze, and broke the silence.

"Kakashi, I don't know what you think you did wrong here, but I can tell you it wasn't anything."  
Kakashi spoke, "Sakura, I crossed a line, and I'm sorry. You are my student, and I should be more professional…"  
Sakura interrupted him quickly "Kakashi, whatever this is about, you didn't cross any lines." 

She thought for a moment. "Wait, is this about you smelling my hair?"  
Kakashi looked away from her, shame showing on his face even through the mask.  
"Kakashi, that doesn't bother me… I was just a little surprised. It was nice. Don't be so hard on yourself, you did nothing wrong."

Kakashi looked over at her, doubt in his eye. He was about to apologize again, but was stopped short when Sakura leaned in and wrapped her arms around him again. 

"Kakashi, you are not my teacher anymore. I'm an adult now. There is no line here to cross. In fact…. I think that line was erased quite some time ago."

Confused, Kakashi pulled away slightly to look at her face.  
"What do you mean?"

Sakura took a deep breath, bracing herself before she spoke again.

"I mean, I have feelings for you too."

Kakashi sat there, dumbfounded. This couldn't be real. He froze up, and his muscles refused to move. His voice refused to speak out. 

Sakura giggled slightly and pulled him in for a hug again. He was finally able to move a little and wrapped his arms around her. 

"Now that it's out in the air, let's go back to bed. We should talk about this more when we get back to Konoha."

Kakashi nodded in agreement and released her from his grip. They both climbed back into the sleeping bags, with Kakashi automatically rolling over to his own side. To his surprise, he felt a warm hand snake around his stomach as Sakura snuggled up close to his back.  
"Don't worry," Sakura said sleepily, "I will keep the nightmares away."

A small smile crept across Kakashi's face. What was happening? This cannot possibly be real. I must be dreaming again… he opened his left eye up, sharingan spinning wildly.  
No…. This is real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know my chapters are pretty short compared to other people. I just stop when it feels like a good place and then it ends up being WAAAY shorter than I expect.


End file.
